A thing that stopped momentum.

(Tl;dr at the bottom! Woo!)

Construction noise. To be more specific, demolition noise.

It’s just another excuse, but it’s a good one, I think. The high-pitched grinding. The wall-shaking hammering. The intermittent drilling that’s vibrating my computer table as I type this like the noise of a thousand cellphones on vibrate-only mode being called all at once.

I was on a roll last week! Editing videos, uploading photos, making blog posts, working out, etc. Sadly, bad habits befell me. Sleeping late was the catalyst. Made me get up at strange hours. Made me tired upon waking up. Sapped my drive and energy for the rest of the day. And reinforced the habit of sleeping late because I didn’t want to “waste time” by sleeping early when I’ve already been waking up late. Bad logic, I know.

Now, though, I tried sleeping early. In the next few days I’m going to try sleeping earlier and earlier, though, because at this point, “sleeping early” means sleeping before 1AM. Waking up could feel better, though.

I was all ready to go and do some stuff! But then… the noise. Oh, the noise. I thought that I was ready for it, but I wasn’t. It sucks. Everything sucks. I couldn’t drown it out with music because a loudness war would mean no sides winning if I were deaf. I was already using earplugs but it was still too loud. And earplugs feel gross. Using over-the-ear head mufflers kind of helped, though. But it was still all just so distracting.

It sucked. Nothing went the way I wanted it to. So now I’m just trying to be as comfy as possible. Consuming light types of media. Writing shorter sentences. Getting on reddit only a few minutes at a time else I be fatigued. The video post-prod can wait, I think. I don’t know. I’m not sure how long this destruction will keep up.

I’ve known of a quote about work ethic. The response to the question of “How do I get better as a writer?” Apparently, it was do what writers do: write.
Apparently, writers write no matter what. If they’re in a dank and dark prison with not a meme in sight. When half their body is torn off because they clicked the wrong tile at Minesweeper and they somehow got their pen and pad out. When all they’re stuck starving on a desert island and all they have is stick and sand. Writers. Will. Write.

I say, “Huh…?” These writers must not be people, then. Because people are finite, no matter how big their dreams are. Physical impossibilities, and all. You think you’d keep on writing if someone saws off your hands and using your blood and bone as writing tools is the only option? Nope. A million times to one, nobody will be able to do that. Physically possible? Yes. Virtually impossible? Also yes.

These types of “motivational” media have to tone it down on the unrealistic expectations. They’ve probably turned off quite a few people who may have thought that they’re not good enough to try to be great at something just because they can’t practice at it for all their waking hours. No shit; only the tiniest of a tiny part of the population are considered unicums, and it makes sense that not everybody can be one. That’s why they’re unicums.

That shouldn’t discourage others to try to be great, though. It’s the mindset of improving that counts, not the goal of perfection. If that’s the goal you really want, though, it’s okay: but don’t hate the world if you can’t do it.

tl;dr I was productive last week but now I’m not because of sleeping late. I’ve been trying to get better quality sleep by sleeping earlier and earlier but as of late I am still tired. I thought I was good to go today and get stuff done, but construction noise was too much for me to concentrate effectively. I ramble about unsustainable ideals about work ethic, and how some people might think they’re trash just because they can’t sustain productivity 110% of the time, as expected of great-[insert area of expertise here], according to some types of motivational media.

 

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